justlooking1995

You know, with the stories i've written myself, with friends and even in real life it would suck to actually have to choose one of the characters to actually date. Do you choose the man, who loved and died for you? even when you didn't show any affection back in an attempt to protect him (which failed obviously). Do you choose your best friend, you share a bond that's more than just friendship. your connected through thought, your souls. Do you choose the man whose gotten involved in your life and been hurt by things around you? Creatures and living people, trying to help you and other friends but is instead being slowly killed by an evil force. Do you stay secretly in love with your friend, the one whose been there but doesn't know how much they mean to you? they hold your heart but don't know just how much what they say or do can affect you. Do you pick the friend whose new but already fallen in love with you quickly. Do you return his strong feelings with your own even though they may not be as strong as his own? and possibly hurt him if your love weakens.
   
   The decision would be hard. I wouldn't want to have to choose between them, especially if the others had to watch you be with the one your chosen. I wouldn't want to hurt them, if that was the situation i may not choose any of them...

(This really has no point behind it just wanted to write something random since i haven't posted ANYTHING on my DA in a loooong time)

Ok, so earlier my cousin and her friend were talking about another friend of theirs at school having a cootie catcher. Everyone remembers those right? those fortune tellers we all use to play with in class (even though we weren't suppose to lol). Well, they're still not gone from the schools, and are still in the hands of pre-teen girls lol. So they were talking about how their friend had a cootie catcher, then both her and carol (the friend thats here) got all excited when i told them i knew how to make them. SO i made them one, but while im making it my cousin says "liiiiv's making usss a cooouchie catcherrrrr" ... What? yes. my 9yr old cousin said that accidently. No i did not tell her what it ment

thats almost as funny as her calling a 'poinsettia' (as in the christmas flower) a 'plasenta'. I think it's safe to say she IS my family XD

ok... so this is what i sent my friend... i think maybe i should go to bed. nah!! XD

O. Hope T says
yay dumb people be gone!
GET THE BEHIND ME RETARD! *smacks with bible*
(WAIT WAIT NO!! *smacks with textbook*)
MUCH BETTER XD
damn
i need to go to bed
Karey says
Lol then go to bed lol
O. Hope T says
NEVER *hiss*
*crawls exorcist style up wall and hides in corner*
Karey says
Wtf?!?!????!!!!!
O. Hope T says
*demented laughing*
something wrong? *head twists around*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Karey says
Scary ...
O. Hope T says
yay it worked : D



(i changed her name. because her full name was there.and stalkers are baaaad. now i sound liek a sheep... SHEEP!!!    ... ok. imma shut up now. i sound kinda retarted... DIDNEY WORL!!!!) I. AM..

ok ive told people this before it does get better, you just have to find out what it is that makes youe life a living hell and get rid of it. it could be a person, or just a memory that hurts you. it will be hard to get rid of it, and it will take time. trust me i get it, life can really suck, and sometimes you just want to curl up in the corner and cry until theres nothing left. until you just fade into the background and disappear for good. but thinking like that never does any good. if you can find one good thing in your life, that always cheers you up. no matter how bad things get, or how much ou just want to give up. if you cling to that one thing it gets better, it really does. trust me when i say i get it, because i really do, for most of my life ive hidden behind the masks, and it works for awhile, most people dont even notice its fake. to be honest ive gotten so use to it, its kind of an instant reaction, i dont even think i just lie and cover up what im actually thinking. i remember crying alot when i was younger, even in school, over something stupid like a friend getting mad at me, or i got a bad mark on a test. iid just break down in the middle of class, or the playground and cry. i think the last time i cried was months ago, and it was just a night after any other normal day, but i just kind of snapped. just in bed and i break down for no aparen reason other than it got too hard and there was nobody to listen. most people dont know what im actually like, sure they get the basics, they get that i like to joke around, i hate school, i like art. but there are other parts of my mind, the things i hide the best, there are things i havent even told my mother, things i cant even talk to her about. because like most, shed mostlikely ask too many questions that completly miss the point, or tey to disect it in a way that only makes me doubt myself more. or better yet shed tell me to go pray, go ask god for the answer, and even though hes helped me see what i needed to do a few times, and lead me to some people in my life that actually get it, he doesnt say enough for me to figure out what i need. and there are things i think about that i won tell many people at all, even people im close to, mother, grandmother, close friends labels dont matter there are things even im shocked that i think about. dark things, people im close to dying, way to kill people in sick twisted ways, myself dying. yet this is all considerd imagination. i also know there are, things, around me, and i do my best to keep them away from the people im close to, but that doesnt always work out so well.

yeah all this is run together and probably make much sense, but if you get even one part of what ive said. atleast you have the comfort in knowing someone else gets what your feeling.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4se7au… this is "the cell block" tango, the gay mens version. the origional is from a movie called "Chichago" found this and felt the need to share because the top comment was "gay men make everything better " i couldnt resist sharing this. if you like it awsome! if not sorry, im a fangirl i cant help it. but i agree the mens version is pretty funny

and just in case it changes, the other top comment at the moment is "omg those pants are so tight looks fantastic".. to be honest i wasnt really looking XD. but one i agree with is the person who commented "YES!!! i want all of them to be my sassy gay friends " (ps that was a reply to the "gay men make everything better" comment.

... i think if i let myself rant nobody would read ANY of my journals because they would be filled with random nonsense that nobody, not even myself would understand XD